Wednesday, September 23, 2009

allow me to introduce a friend--

--And he's actually good!

I hope to be in a video.

In the MEANtime, I have been in a music video, my first unless you count dancing to Dick in a Box Christmas 07

Young & Divine. Catch the pretty boy fever

and again, the Lovemakers are always worth a shout

as is Dan Brown

and so are you

for being a reader

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

VideoDame's NYE Get-Your-Ass-Laid-Without-That-Cover-Charge Playlist!

Ah, December 31st. A time to think on the past year, raise up a glass or eight of bubbly, balk at $200 bottles of $15 dollar vodka and hope for that possibly mythical midnight kiss.

Personally, I hope this year Santa brings me a shot girl gig on the Strip, otherwise all Vegas people can find me downtown, partying with my fellow B.A.N.s from around the world, content in the fact that around 6pm the next day my boyfriend lands.

New Year's however, is traditionally a time of crimes against musicality--why not, when 95% of your audience is gone on Stoli?-- and in fact, has only two songs to its name, "Auld Lang Syne" (lyrics lost to time and inebriation) and "Waiting for Tonight" by J-Lo.

Whilst I actually admit Lo's song is not bad, we and I--certainly can do better. So with no more further fecking ado, VideoDame NYC/LV's 2008 New Year's Eve Kiss-a-Stranger playlist. And in the traditional manner, let it be a countdown.


10. "Roc Boys," by Jay-Z. I encourage you all, male, female, cloistered Amish, when you hitch up the Clydsdales to your wagon, to play this amongst your favored posse and you will feel like you are indeed Jigga, holding court at the 40/40, and that your fermented bog wine is pure Cristal.

9. "Night on Fire," VHS or Beta. Forgive me for such an openly hipster-sounding band, but I admit this song, my only of theirs, is quite perfect for the drive over to wherever, especially if you are wearing tight jeans and hoping to rub them against other tight jeans.

8. "Throw It On Me," The Hives and Timbaland. If you are lucky, this is what accompanies your strut into the cluuub. May I mention that Timbaland is the only person ever allowed to use the phrase "platinum stacks" because indeed, the man shits beats better than you.

7. "I Bet That U Look Good On the Dancefloor" Arctic Monkeys cover by the Sugababes. You can keep your Pussycat Dolls and their pitiful mewls about them having less STDs than your girlfriend. I prefer me these Brits and this fierceariffic sped-up track. The original's great too, but at this point in the night I insist you be too drunk to care much anyway.

6. "Bowtie" by Outkast. Big Boi is often overshadowed by the gloriousness Ur-Fop, Andre Benjamin (my secret husband), but his flow is the velvet to A3K's crush and don't tell me you don't want to wear feathers, wingtips and sass about to this song because you are lying. Insist.

5. "Powertrip," by Monster Magnet. This is time for reflection on the past motherfuckers you fucked you over and to the glorious fuck-you-all brilliance you are about to ejaculate all over 2009's face. Or something like that. You might want to do this privately. Just shout it--"I'm never gonna work another day in my life/The gods told me to relax they say I'm gonna get fixed up right"

Monster Magnet - Powertrip

4. "Afterparty," by Ozomatli. "Donde esta la afterparty?" Nuff said. (in fact if you want a good any party, just play the whole album--Don't Mess With the Dragon)

3. "Bustout" by the Cherry Poppin' Daddies. Because there really needs to be new Ricky Martin esque hit for people who don't even remember Ricky Martin and it may as well be my favorite band. Plus shouting out "take me now" is probably a good a sign enough for everyone that you're single.

Cherry Poppin Daddies Perform: Bust Out - Watch the top videos of the week here

2. "Stronger" by Kanye West. Because anyone who rhymes Klondike and blonde dyke is my friend for life.

1. "So Hott," by Kid Rock. Sums up the ethos of the holiday, and perhaps any holiday more than any other as Kid Rock is on a very pleasurable sounding vacation since 1996. "I don't want to be your friend/I want to fuck you like I'm never gonna see you again" never sounded so romantic.

Kid Rock - So Hott Music Video

0! If you're lucky, "Where are My Panties" by Outkast or if you're unlucky "2:29," by the Cherry Poppin' Daddies. Yes it's some kind of blood contract that makes me mention them upon every reverent breath, but also the cheerful desperation of the song, at the traditional time of closing time. Girls, all of you can probably relate with this scenario: "Perfectly normal when he started out/He's got a wristband and a disorder/Blocking the exit with the drink he poured her"

Alright just two more, and they're still themed!

The drive home: "Drinking in L.A.," by Daft Punk. Even if you aren't in Los Angeles, has that faraway lament that accompanies any ride home in the dawn.

The song that accompanies you getting up, unhungover, happy and ready to face 2009 in a brighter, more wonderfully homosexual way: "Love Today," by Mika. G-ddess bless you all!


Tip me if ya like me!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Many daily musings, news articles, and videos

Yeah, no. I've been to Paris, and it has got (especially now) nothing on Rome* in terms of culture, class, and the historical willingness to fuck shit up. I challenge HBO to make a bloodier series about France, starring, hopefully Gerard Depardieu's dismembered body, on a pike.

But seriously, there are so few works of art that make you fucking want to get covered in your enemy's blood that this, or more viscerally makes you remember when you *were* covered in your enemy's blood, which means I must get the boxset immediately.

*No, I actually have not been to Rome, only Venice which is definitely, quite like Midwood, a realm of the old, suspicious, and pissed off about it. I guarantee you hardened arteries bring about more ambulances than hardened toughs. It would be a pity if I wasn't planning on fleecing them out of the rolls of singles tucked under their mattresses. Non?

At least there's a lot of great furniture on the street.

To encourage me, and perhaps you to explore music a bit more:

Soul Survivors: How Classic Rhythm and Blues Has Become Vital Sharon Jones is a gem, now rightfully revealed.


I know that "Paper Planes" is everywhere now, in commercials, MTV, and every video channel and MIA is being rightfully adulated...for this one song. But let me just say, this is where I was TWO YEARS AGO beetches.

Getting down with a Hounslow Girl

27 Nov 2006, 16:06 (edit | delete)
You know I have myriad problems with Apple and their stranglehold on music but they suggested me M.I.A. in their Rap/Hip-Hop mp3 free collections this summer and...damn. Having always a softspot for lady rappers like Lady Sovereign and Peaches though never getting too deep in, I think it's time for the Sri Lanken-Englishwoman to invade my eardrums.

So her album "Arular" is downloading on iTunes at the moment; surely what they want. Apparently MTV has banned her videos--not that I ever watch it but it might be enough of a reason why she's not as wildly famous as she "ought" to be. But "Bingo" the first track that introduced her to me says maybe me and about a billion of her underground fans might want to keep her to ourselves for awhile. delish.'

Suck it Seth Rogan!


And now our non-video pick of the week--cruelly neither have been given the cinematic treatment", here they are: "Lies" by the Black Keys, and PJ-Harvey-by-way-of-Desert-Session "Powdered Wig Machine"


Will I have a real video here yet? Let me peruse--I assume all of you have seen VAST's Pretty When You Cry if not go do so. I'm waiting for my muse.

Stumble It!


Saturday, November 22, 2008

VideoDame Quickrecs: Anberlin, The Stars, and

It's nearly 5am, I've been warmed by the flames of a hot actor, a few pints, and three great new

A flawlessly awesome band name, instant hook execution, and not a little balls, for the 10 in my playlist right now, I give you "Feel Good Drag" by Anberlin


My friend Laurel passed this chilly poignant gem to me and I will always be grateful for that, "Your Ex-Lover is Dead" by Canadians The Stars. Perfect for wintertime, and thoughts of quiet suicide:


And this is just fun, the high water mark for what any popular band should try at least once. Alums of my sister's university, Big City Rock's "All of the Above"

Minor irritation: Universal Music oddly and infuriatingly keeps all their label artists videos un-embeddable. Yell at them for that, I'm gonna go play with my rat.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Videodame Presents: Love Story by Taylor Swift aka Virginal Pubescent Ass All For A Low Cut Pirate Shirt!

We are in a new world, people.

A new President, a new determination, a new generation.

And as all new generations before it, Gen Y, for its civic mindedness, its strident, well-scrubbed pan-cultural exchange the likes the modern world has not yet seen, these internet-junkies, these free wheeling top of the heap new-born Americans?!

Well they just all wanna dress in pretty party dresses and get married.

Taylor Swift, America. Oh, I see you've met.

Only yesterday did I, watching the glorious cable my new digs gives me, on MTV Hits this...this piece

Okay now, this video is very well made, in a technical capacity. I love every single one of the costumes, because of course, I have estrogen. And you men out there can't help but think as she talks about how it's a love story and she's the pretty princess and you're just sitting there with this ENORMOUS BONER and--basically all straight men think about is where to AIM am I lying? *coughs* Sorry.

Wikipedia how old is she?

18!!! WoooOOOooooo!

But seriously I actually didn't watch the video yesterday, I watched it ten minutes ago. With closed captioning. To give you a taste of what I read, while watching her re-enact every scene from Pride and Prejudice starring Keira Knightly then mention Romeo and Juliet...

Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone
I keep waiting for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think
He kneels to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said

Marry me Juliet you'll never have to be alone
I love you and that's all the reason for
I talk to your dad go pick out a white dress
It's a love story baby just say yes

Now she gets points for the fiddle, which has bailed out otherwise non-descript bands such as Dave Matthews and Yellowcard but can't you see this song being played at the most Deliverance-style weddings?

I mean, don't get me wrong, I myself was born in redneck capital of the world Arkansas, IN THE LITERAL OZARKS, and I know crackerism, and incest, can happen just about anywhere. So come with me as you imagine, say, a father/daughter/wife dance as Miss Swift makes the magic happen.

Did you know Hugh Hefner is giving one of his ex-wives/twins away at her next wedding? I don't know if all of them divorced or he just divorced one twin but really that poor addled knob is getting greased at least eighth times daily for the cameras, and it's all really depressing, kind of like McCain--

Oh. And this is why you shouldn't try to knock out your flu with Sudafed, JD's and herbal tea.

It's a new world, ladies and gentlemen. And we're only here to watch Taylor Swift twirl in it.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

VideoDame Presents: Lame Love Videos for Valentine's Day

It's easy to be sexy. You writhe, you dance. You pant suggestively. A 5 year old can do it--of course it's probably better they don't even if Lil Miss Pre-teen Kansas is on the line.

But what of love, love, love in all its straight, vanilla, perfectly bopping glory? Here VideoDame takes a break from one handed viewing and gives you three videos that due to a time, a place and an artist, still show us that we're not as sexed up a culture as we can be. And that's okay.

First: The Real McCoy's "Come and Get Your Love"

The why: Do you realize that all one can say about The Real McCoy can be summed up in two words-- "Remember them?" Yeah. Incredibly high budget for this video, actually and some elements of shut up stop laughing Fight Club in all those swoopy angles, about a decade and a generational style shift later.

Second: Andrea True's "More More More"

The why: Andrea True is a fascinating woman, who was actually a porn star at the time of her nascent disco career, here pictured--and yet manages to dance like your mother. That she's a drug and alcohol counselor now and a VH1 quasi-fixture makes her so fucking fabulous that I'm surprised there isn't a biopic with Charlize Theron in the works. She needs to learn to smile. A bit vacantly, but still. Heart this vid.

Finally: Justin Timberlake's "My Love"

The why: Now considering that JT's "Sexyback" video is one of the pure and vicious cornerstones to this entire blog in terms of being a deleriously erotic 3 minute ride, why is this one so lame when it is arguably, a better song? Why don't we ask the FLYING PENS. Or maybe the FLORESCENT LIGHT BULBS. OR THE GAP DANCERS. The only spark of Justin's sexuality in this video for a song that after all has the line "If you don't come/I ain't gon' die" is when he makes a widening motion while singing "piece of that pie." Then again, he opens it up kinda speculum style. *wince* Gently, JT, go gently.

So readers, love and sex as handled by popular culture can lead one astray, or at least leave one flushed not with desire but derision. Which is why you should always remember--you're the first and last authority on sexy things. Just don't videotape yourself.

"Love" always,