Wednesday, February 14, 2007

VideoDame Presents: Lame Love Videos for Valentine's Day

It's easy to be sexy. You writhe, you dance. You pant suggestively. A 5 year old can do it--of course it's probably better they don't even if Lil Miss Pre-teen Kansas is on the line.

But what of love, love, love in all its straight, vanilla, perfectly bopping glory? Here VideoDame takes a break from one handed viewing and gives you three videos that due to a time, a place and an artist, still show us that we're not as sexed up a culture as we can be. And that's okay.

First: The Real McCoy's "Come and Get Your Love"

The why: Do you realize that all one can say about The Real McCoy can be summed up in two words-- "Remember them?" Yeah. Incredibly high budget for this video, actually and some elements of shut up stop laughing Fight Club in all those swoopy angles, about a decade and a generational style shift later.

Second: Andrea True's "More More More"

The why: Andrea True is a fascinating woman, who was actually a porn star at the time of her nascent disco career, here pictured--and yet manages to dance like your mother. That she's a drug and alcohol counselor now and a VH1 quasi-fixture makes her so fucking fabulous that I'm surprised there isn't a biopic with Charlize Theron in the works. She needs to learn to smile. A bit vacantly, but still. Heart this vid.

Finally: Justin Timberlake's "My Love"

The why: Now considering that JT's "Sexyback" video is one of the pure and vicious cornerstones to this entire blog in terms of being a deleriously erotic 3 minute ride, why is this one so lame when it is arguably, a better song? Why don't we ask the FLYING PENS. Or maybe the FLORESCENT LIGHT BULBS. OR THE GAP DANCERS. The only spark of Justin's sexuality in this video for a song that after all has the line "If you don't come/I ain't gon' die" is when he makes a widening motion while singing "piece of that pie." Then again, he opens it up kinda speculum style. *wince* Gently, JT, go gently.

So readers, love and sex as handled by popular culture can lead one astray, or at least leave one flushed not with desire but derision. Which is why you should always remember--you're the first and last authority on sexy things. Just don't videotape yourself.

"Love" always,